


Poor Little Jane

by Eena_Eena, orphan_account



Category: Original - Fandom, Personal - Fandom, nonfandom
Genre: Suicide, TW: Suicide, personal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-15
Updated: 2014-09-15
Packaged: 2018-02-17 11:56:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2308826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eena_Eena/pseuds/Eena_Eena, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A personal story formed from a low point in my life. A small piece about a girl named Jane who ends herself, and the aftermath of her choice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Poor Little Jane

Once there was a girl name Jane, and Jane was not happy. One day Jane figured enough was enough and ended her life. The next morning Jane’s father came into her room to wake her up for school. His voice boomed with her name, tears poured down his face, and he held the unmoving body of Jane. There was no letter to explain, he was left wondering what he did wrong. Do not blame yourself Jane’s father. Jane knew you already have enough to deal with, she didn't want to put a depressed daughter on that pile but now you have a dead one in your arms. Poor little Jane. 

The next day the school announced her death. Jane’s teacher read the message that Jane had died. The teacher sat there heavily in her chair, warm wetness caked her cheeks. The teacher wondered what they could have done, maybe if they had noticed or asked if Jane was okay. Do not blame yourself teacher, Jane would never speak her problems to a teacher for she is just another student in your class, you wouldn't care. At least this is what Jane thought. Poor little Jane. 

At lunch her friends sobbed in an unclosed circle, one space in their group of friends will always be forever empty. Jane was quiet but now she left a heavy quietness that no noise will overcome. They all wondered why she didn't go to her friends for help, they loved Jane and if she was sad they would help her in every way. Do not blame yourself friends, Jane knew everyone already had their own problems and stress to carry, she would not let you carry her burden. Jane did not know problems are lighter when there are numbers holding it. Poor little Jane. 

Now Jane? Why did you do this? You left the world to ease your pains. You were never happy? Why, Jane? Why were you never happy? Poor little Jane. 

Jane was a plain girl, as plain as can be. From her plain face with a strong jaw to her plain pudgy body. With all this plainness Jane only saw ugly and unwanted. Jane never felt beautiful. From the moment she looked in a mirror and realized that was her Jane would hate the girl who stared back. She never had the thinness that other girls have nor the curviness she wanted, she felt like a blob. No matter how much her family and close friends called her beautiful, she would not believe them. When Jane was a young tomboy and she wore a dress for the first time to school, the big 5th grader called her ugly in it, never again did she think she was pretty. Poor little Jane. 

Ever since the day she didn't understand multiplication in elementary Jane knew she wasn't smart like the others. The words in books wouldn't make the same sounds when they were stuttered out as they did in her head. When the boy in class called her “slow” snickering never again did Jane think she was smart. Jane came home crying, wishing she could be smart like the other kids. It only got harder, Jane never asked for help in fear of being called slow again. Poor little Jane. 

Well Jane, you've left the world. You left behind the people who loved you. Poor little Jane.  
Jane, you looked at yourself like how a person looked at a painting from far away. Blurred and unsightly. Yet if you have looked close Jane you glowed. Everything about you was beautiful, Jane. From the way your eyes squinted when you smiled to your long eye lashes and your pretty lips. Everything about you was beautiful, Jane. From your body, so soft and warm, so many loved to lean against you, Jane. You gave of a motherly comfort. If only you stepped closer, Jane, and saw all the beautiful details. Poor little Jane. 

Jane, you only ever saw what was hard for you. You never realized how much was truly in your head and hands. The moment a pencil hit paper when you sat in class alone you never stopped. Your talent in art left other wishing they could. What you could make with mind pen strokes was beautiful. While numbers and unknown languages racked around your brain the history of the world and sciences made so much sense to you. How to take care of a child and how to calm down an unset friend, all the things you couldn't learn in school you knew. You were so smart only if you looked at everything you were great at Jane. Poor little Jane. 

Jane, you lay cold in a box. People your family didn't even know came and sobbed right next to them. A horde of grief wallowing in a circle, a box is the centerpiece. You once said to yourself “If I can’t love myself, who’d love me.” Jane, look, look with your dead eyes. You have ease your own pains but every heart surrounding you is now cracking and heavy because they love you, Jane. Poor little Jane.

**Author's Note:**

> **Special thanks to my best friend who betas my writings. You're awesome, MrSakatsu. 
> 
> This piece has small bits of my life and experiences. I'm going through a lot right now and I had a very low point today where I almost hurt myself. I wondered what would happen if I killed myself but then this popped into my head. 
> 
> I hoped you enjoyed it. 
> 
> \- Mother Fey


End file.
